i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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