You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
