i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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