Me. At least after what I've been through.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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