sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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