If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
