Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize