Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
