Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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