marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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