theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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