I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
