How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
