You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize