Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
