Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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