You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
