just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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