Whoa Z and x make the same sound
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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