My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
