Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I will pee on everything he values.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
