He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
