Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My friends, they love my intelligence
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
