The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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