I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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