Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
