The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
