Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
