in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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