Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
