I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
