Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
