I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
