Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You almost got us killed.
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