Have you finally orgasmed yet?
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
This beer is not sobering me up at all
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize