Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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