i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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