I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I checked into jail on foursquare
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
