Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
