i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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