i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
either way he was missing a nipple.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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