just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
