There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
