I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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