Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
