you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
