Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
