Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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