Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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