Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

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(812): View more from Indiana

i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.

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(407): View more from Florida

sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.

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(816): View more from Missouri

I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are

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(352): View more from Florida

She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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(727): View more from Florida

My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.

(851): View more from

You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into

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