I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
