We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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