Tell her she can't have a vagina
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
