high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
