I'm jealous of your bromance
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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