and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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