whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
