Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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