the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
then he tried to convert me to islam
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
