i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
