Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
