I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
