I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
