Don't you send me to vm
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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