and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
