Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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