You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
