I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
