dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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