She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
just found out that she named her cat after me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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