I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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