I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
