even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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