I am in a vortex of obligation.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
